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Banner by Elizabeth. (uptheapples)

Minor internal breakdown yesterday set off by my losing my student card (which is how we use meal plans and basically the only way to do anything on campus) and the spring 2010 course booklet going up. I'm on the first sign up day, finally have enough credits to where I'm the first slot on the last day. Unfortunately all my classes are going to suck. Putting off American Lit because apparently my AP lit credit might count for that requirement. Tentatively taking Media Law and Ethics, Web Publishing (my advisor teaches this, and he kind of sucks, so it's going to be frustrating), Grammar (I've put off taking a language course long enough and I wanted to take linguistics, but it's not being offered), and Intermediate Fiction. ...I have four classes left for each major, and then my senior sems. two semesters and a winter term. What.

Excited about fiction because I have this huge ass original project I've been kind of mulling over and kind of scared to start tackling, and this will start pushing me into actually working on it. Little scared, because I could take Contemporary Writers with a teacher I know and absolutely adore (Cassie Kircher might be my favorite person ever on the planet and I almost cried when she told me I had talent for prose, not going to lie), but it's a course that surveys poetry, nonfiction, and fiction, and I really want to have free reign to work on my fiction, that's what I want to write. Even if I don't know the professor and I'm apparently Vonnegut weird. (Also, I want my security blanket of Alyse, the most fabulous TA ever who was all "YOU ARE INSANE. I LOVE IT. SHOW ME MORE" which makes me feel so good.)

Really kind of wanted to take Intro to Music Business but I have no room. Think it's probably more something I'd like in theory, but only have fun with about half of, like my internship. Think of going to grad school for something related to music/arts management, like the PR or marketing sides? NYU has a music business grad program I was salivated over. Do want to work at Sony BMG, do. want.

I want to be an entertainment journalist, I want to also write my stories, and I want to actually do stuff in the entertainment business. I don't know what, exactly, but I know I love music more than anything and theatre more than most things, and I just have a lot of things I want to do and don't see why I can't do them all. Just the farther I go along the more my dreams and goals change and I can't see that ever not being the case. I can't see myself getting to a point and going "okay, happy enough now."

Also, Culture of Rock was the best academic decision I've ever made. I spent my 8 am watching videos of Jefferson Airplane and talking about the counterculture. And also, God I love the Beatles so much more from Revolver on, does that make me a bad person for being really glad they got on drugs?

I feel like my entire life is in this nice quiet lull right now where I'm on good terms with my roommate and Ted and I are in a comfortable state of friendship and it's sunny outside, but then tomorrow I have my first midterm and then it's probably going to blow up in my face and my roommate will reveal she actually IS the devil child from Scarlet Letter, Glee will turn out to be a figment of my imagination, and I'll wake up to it being last January.

Next show to close: 13, on January 4th.

Fuck even Broadway depresses me now.

I have to do an assignment for class on Twitter, so I made an account (cme622, if anyone else has one.) and added BWW.com's feed to it and that was the first thing I saw.

I don't even know the show, I just love JRB. And I'm still depressed about Spring Awakening. If anyone was wondering. (Oh, if anyone can see the show in December, Matt Doyle will be going on as Melchior for the last time somewhere in that. It'll be phenomenal.)

In unrelated news, it snowed a little today and everyone I know's facebook status is either about snow, Twilight, or both.

...speaking of Twilight, RPatz and KStew are both so much cooler than the characters they play.

Okay. New Bare forums. Yet again, because the site hasn't been up for a few days now, and it'll probably come back up, but we moved it to a site that tends to be more reliable, anyways. (And we're saving back ups of everything now, heh, I'm just glad I still had all my Bare100 prompts saved.)

http://z6.invisionfree.com/Barerpg/index.php?act=idx

There's not much there yet, but we're rebuilding it, and hopefully in the next couple of days it'll get active again. Plus, look at how pretty it is! That shiny banner! *drools* Go join and such...even if you don't do RPGs, we still do other fandomish things (like fics and fanart and such) and start the occasional analytical discussion, heh.

Mmkay, now that I've gotten the pimping out of my system.

Just...I need to rant. This is going to sound incredibly shallow and teenaged, and I hate that, but I need to just let it out somewhere...I tried saying this all to my mom earlier and I think she took as Tina's low self esteem getting lower rather than just a general frustration.

I feel like I'm surrounded by perfect girls with perfect hair and flawless skin who some how manage to show up in first period looking like they just finished a photo shoot for Teen Vogue. And then I look at myself in the mirror with my frizzy not quite curly but definitely not straight mess that I call my hair, and my acne that won't go away because I'm too lazy to actually use skin care products on a regular basis. (I'm trying with Proactiv, I really am! It's worked for me before, but like I said, I'm so lazy.)

( And I just kind of feel like Nadia in a room full of Ivys. )